#Bullshit. Absolute bullshit

[itstimeforstarwars]

I hate knowing how to sew. I hate that knowing how to sew compels me to fix my own clothes when their shoddy construction destroys them cuz I don't wanna spend another fuckin thirty dollars to replace it when I have $1 of thread. Mending is the worst and it's 90% of the sewing I do these days.

[gobspeaks]

this forensics guy is bullshit ema skye wouldn't lie to me like this

[whathorselegs]

Story-wise, I do not want Dazai to just show up and save the day again

Emotionally though, I want Dazai to show up and beat the shit of Fyodor for what he just pulled with Atsushi

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[thatonegayship]

What Bill wants for his big day:

So Bill doesn't have a birthday sure, but is there some sort of Bill Cipher Day? Demonic celebration?

..and if so, does dip know?

Oh man, there probably is! Bill's absolutely the kind of guy to have a whole Day Of Celebration devoted to himself. Likely it's not on any sort of earthly calendar basis, too, so it'll come up at some time when Dipper least expects it.

Because, c'mon. Bill's fantastically knowledgeable - but he's absolute shit at filling Dipper in on important information beforehand.

[notlemoncello]

Oh yeah he did do the crimes 100% but we actually won’t sentence him to anything because uhhhhhhhhhh prebident

[dollya-robinprotector]

Well, y'know, something something about the patriarchal man gatekeep gaslight manipulative monopolizing confine the only pure light he ever sees - his innocent sister and the experienced old uncle who looks a bit careless and homeless but is actually very gentle and can only look at the prisoned songbird girl from far away…

Ye I'm normal about them I promise-

[lunar-wandering]

Wukong: I'm the one being punished, why are you moping in the corner?

Macaque: because I didn't plan on going to jail today

Wukong: oh, so you think I planned this? please, like i would want to be trapped in a room with you.

MK:

[rainosa]

I’ve been thinking about Valerie lately and losing my mind at how underutilized she was. What do you mean she only appears in phantom planet as a background character

[problemnyatic]

Yeah yeah linux having problems is a big joke but honestly have you considered that linux wouldn't run like shit if it didn't have to reverse engineer byzantine proprietary drivers and hardware architecture and deliberately hostile BIOS firmware and one thousand other things that exist solely to force everything that isn't a corporate OS to suffer miserably on every computer ever

[vroomvroomthings]

Nico waiting for the McLaren driver swap so that the Safety Car can be deployed so he doesn't get run over:

[fujoshoid]

maid for youuuu

[the-ocean-is-trans]

bobby nash is ofc the found family dad but athena grant is most certainly not the found family mom. she is a mom to her two kids, but not to the 118. Hen and her are besties, she definitely is involved in the 118 chosen family and clearly loves them, but athena grant is not adopting all of these grown adults with mommy and daddy issues. she tolerates it from buck because she wants to make sure bobby stays alive.

[essektheylyss]

Life hack: if you start EXU: Calamity at 14:04:18 (2:04:18 PM) on December 31st, you can experience the finale of the Avalir fireworks extravaganza at exactly midnight.

And then, if you really wanna set the tone, you can kick off your year by screaming into a pillow for the remaining ten hours of runtime!

[valtsv]

the silly verses. teehee.

[freckled-moss]

Together